The High Sheriff

Received a civics lesson today from the Chambers County Sheriff's Office. Some jaybirds dumped a couple dozen used tires off on Tinker's land. Rather than live with it -- something The Old Goat and Tinker have done foreever -- I called the Sheriff's Office. It is clearly illegal dumping, an obvious violation of the law, even in Chambers County. Instead of treating it as a breach of the civil code, the Sheriff's Office referred me to the county health officer. It was, in the Sheriff's opinion, not a "real" crime that demanded allocation of resources. I called the health guy and and he told me that we had to move the tires onto the county right of way along County Road 248 (that is the dirt road on which I live). He would get a gang of county prisoners to pick up the tires, probably sometime next week. If the tires remained where they were dumpted -- on Tinker's land -- he would be powerless to do anything about it since the prisoners cannot go onto private property to pick up stuff. I thanked him and Tinker and I stacked the tires onto the right of way, as directed. Now it is a waiting game until they are picked up. What is instructive is that the Sheriff has his own view of what rises to his attention. Granted, if the cracker-jack Sheriff's Department was actually solving murders and breaking up drug cartels, I would agree with him that discarded tires are a low priority. Such is not the case. After the conversation, I thought about it for a while and remembered that the infamous FBI crime statistics that tell Americans how much crime is infecting their communities are compiled from reports from county sheriffs. If a sheriff wants to show a decline in crime, don't report any crimes. If a sheriff wants to demonstrate his toughness in anticipation of an election, report more arrests. In a word, the crime statistics over which we all make such a fuss are faulty. I can guarantee that Chambers County never reports illegal dumping as an issue although it clearly is. I wonder if the Sheriff would think it a crime if some mysterious person dumpted a truckload of used tires on his front yard? I wonder if he would leap into action and investigate? I wonder if he would even take the call reporting that his front lawn was strewn with used tires?

The other part of the civics lesson was The Old Goat and Tinker. It never occurred to them to call the Sheriff about the tires. They are the best of citizens for elected officials such as the Sheriff. They never complain, they don't bother him with calls, they expect (and get) nothing. The Sheriff can run his department without fear that The Old Goat or Tinker are going to bother him with pesky calls for service. Now, if they would not vote, they would be perfect citizens.

Well, they will be voting, even if I have to drag them to the polls. We are a block of three votes. Watch out!