Little Honey

Nothing makes me feel more useless than when one of my animals gets hurt. I’ve watched as some of the older hens died, knowing there was nothing I could do to extend their lives. Now, one of my cats sustained a serious injury and will have to be put down. Back in January, Sassafrass gave birth to five kittens. The runt of the litter, Little Honey, quickly wormed herself into my heart. She is a cute little multi-colored cat and with a sweet disposition. Yesterday I discovered her in the weeds at the edge of the yard. Her left back leg was hanging lip. Worse, her leg bone was sticking out of her skin. Either she was playing on the highway and was hit or some roving carnivore attacked her. Whatever the cause, she is doomed. Rather than putting her out of her misery myself, something I am loathed to do, I am taking her to the vet this morning. It will be her first and last truck ride. I am getting better at living through losing animals. The first hen I buried was grim. Since then, several more have passed on, along with Dolly the Dog and now Little Honey. Living close to elemental life makes me revere it more. While I might have killed snakes and mice in the past, now I generally leave them alone. Life itself is precious and, whatever the form, deserves respect. It is hard enough to enjoy what short time we have on this spinning top that ending it should be done thoughtfully and infrequently. Nature seems to have her own timetable for living things. That may be the reason I don’t hunt. Even fishing gives me pause. It is all about catch and release except for those I eat. Ripping out beets, yanking beans off the vines, picking tomatoes all mean the end of life, too, and I am working on what I think about that. The Buddhists have helped me think through some of these issues. I remember enjoying a delicious fish dinner with a group of Buddhists. First thing the priest did was give respect to the fish before we wolfed it down. All of this is me delaying the inevitable drive to the vet and the end of Little Honey. I am not in a rush to do it.