Authentic Men Hall of Fame

One of my favorite former students and I began a conversation years ago about authentic men. It seems to me that the dialogue began about the same time that the term metrosexual was making its debute. The student and I were reacting to a minor, almost inperceptible, academic dust-up over the future of boys and the general resignation that the era of "real" men was over. John Wayne was dead. Gary Cooper was dead. Teddy Roosevelt was dead. At the time, the most "manly" men on the scene were Bill Clinton (he of $200 haircuts), Bob Dole (he of Viagra fame) and Sean Penn (a terrific Harvey Milk). The result of our conversation lead to the proposition that there had to be authentic men to serve as role models for the rest of us. Characteristics of the authentic man would include the ability to survive on one's wits without crying like a school girl. The authentic man knows something about tools and how to use them. He knows how to clean up. He does not present tatoos as the best means of enunciating his world view. He does not behave as a knuckle-dragging bafoon. He usually avoids face paint, anything camo, and NASCAR. Mostly, he likes to test himself, to find out the depth of his spirit. He is not necessarily committed to making the world better. In fact, it might be that the authentic man turns his back on the world and lives reconciled to forces of Nature that are not silly, petty or cheap. To date, there are seven inductees into the Authentic Men Hall of Fame. The first member, unanimously elected, was

Henry David Thoreau. The second class included

Constantine Shanklin (actually Nevil Shute, Shanklin's real life counterpart),

Earnest Shackleton and

John Muir. Inducted since are

Capt. James Buchanan Eads and

John Wesley Powell. Our newest member is

Dick Proennecke. Nominations are welcome but please understand that my former student and I reserve the right to reject any nominee. When I mentioned the Authentic Men Hall of Fame to WitchWoman, I got an ear-full. She did not like it one tiny bit. And, after kicking my ass for a while, I finally conceded that it should be the Authentic Person Hall of Fame. Which means that I am automatically disqualified for induction to the Authentic Men Hall of Fame. There is no room in the Authentic Men Hall of Fame for a milk-toast who folds like a cheap suit case when challenged by a stinking woman. I don't know much about sociology. Never took any courses in the discipline. But, I believe our society will reap different fruit than expected from nuturing a generation of boys without manly men as heroes and role models. I am at the age that I no longer care if I am viewed as a neaderthal. Maybe I am listening to too much country music -- no gender confusion there -- and trying to live a simple life but it seems to me that Walt Kowalski (from Gran Torino) would be more valuable to society now than Chaz Bono. Make sure you hear what I am saying. I am not talking about sexuality. A manly man is about attitude. Making sexuality the defining characteristic that categorizes us is short-sighted. A gay man who can fix a leaking drain, prepare a tasty dinner, act to protect his home and loved ones, and mets his social obligations is as eligible for induction to the Hall as a straight dude who does the same. Sexuality is a convenient label employed by the lazy. More than anything else, what I am saying with this post is that there is no reason to apologize for being a man. There are differences between the sexes. Good. Variety makes for a more interesting life. Strong men will make strong women. Just as the tide raises all boats, honoring the best of men does not diminish any women. In fact, it has nothing to do with women. Imagine that, I can use this phrase that I have wanted to use for most of my adult life: "hey, it ain't about you."