After Action Review (Hotwash)

Our two-day offensive against the Privet has concluded. The enemy's stronghold is wiped out. But not without costs. Tinker suffered a sinking spell mid-way in the battle today. He managed to clear the field of battle and retreat to his friendly confines. The after effects, however, were grim. He had terrible cramping in his legs and hands. Exhausted, he dozed most of the afternoon. He seems better now. I managed to escape the sap-letting with only minor scraps and scratches. I did sustain a blow to my right thigh when I pulled on a Privet stump. The stump dislodged violently, striking me on the upper leg. I thought nothing of it at the time but now am administering Ben-Gay and Alleve for the soreness. To demonstrate the insidious nature of our foe, once we waded into the Privet nest, we discovered to our horror that the King Privet surrounded himself with several locusts. The locust are particularly beautiful trees but have a nasty characteristic -- three to four inch long torns protruding from the bark. Our efforts were waylaid momentarily by this surprise defense but thick gloves and sheer daring prevailed. Soon, the innocent but dangerous locust were subdued and sent to the chipper. I took particular warrior glee in sentencing King Privet to his doom.

This afternoon I paid a visit to the Chambers County Courthouse. I was scheduled to meet with the County Manager and the septic tank guy. I was struck by how hollow the place sounded when I walked in. The county manager, as it turns out, worked Tuesday and Wednesday of this week then took a long weekend. Same for the septic tank guy. The folks at the Agricultural Extension Service, across the street, apparently decided that if the County is taking a long weekend, they should, too. They closed their offices at noon on Thursday with a note that said they would return to work (if one dared call it that) on Monday. Dismayed, I visited the rural electricity people to arrange for electricity on my land. Everybody was gone. The nice lady who waited on me gave me a form to fill out. She said that I would get a call from the service guy soon. No date specified. Still presisting, I visited the 911 Office. They are the people who assign addresses. The office was closed until Monday. I might have stumbled on one reason few things get done in Chambers County. Nobody is working. I walked back over to the Courthouse to talk to the commissioner who represents my district. He was only available by telephone. Finally, I gave up and returned home to have several gin and tonics.

By the way, an After Action Review is a military term I picked up in Iraq. It is a skull session after an engagement. It is sometimes called a "hotwash" since it attempts to get the gist of a meeting or encounter. My good friend Kevin taught me the terms and I find them most useful in this situation.

The hotwash from today: 1) The Privet is not dead but badly damaged. 2) We suffered battle scars but will recover. 3) It is hard to manage a county if you don't work at it.