Helpful Rain

Mercifully, a thunderstorm rolled through downtown Welch last evening. Even those of us in the suburbs received a good soaking. The sunflowers and sweet potatoes I planted all look happy this morning. The place does not have that smell of dried hay that lingered during the last few hot and dry days. From the looks of the clouds on the horizon, we may have another downpour today. No complaints here.

This retirement stuff is harder than it looks. I have been at it for almost two months (five weeks of that was spend on the road) and already I am finding it disorienting to be without some sort of schedule. I obviously lack purpose, something I can repair if I work up enough energy. I do wonder if I will work at a substantive job ever again. I may have bailed too early. What keeps going through my head are those insightful lines of poet and philosopher Neil Young: "It is better to burn out than to fade away." What I am doing now is dimming my bulb. There are just so many activities with which one can fill his/her day. I have not lived for activities for almost sixty years. I thought I lived for purposes. Comfortable, quiet, restful retirement is not a purpose. My labors on the land are hobbies. Where is the substance?