Motorized Gift

My dear brother gave me an early gift in observation of my sexagenary. You have to know that Tinker has a motor fetish. His idea is that if something can be motorized, it can be improved. If he had his way about it, he would have motorized brow moppers for the chronically worried. He would put motors on his chickens if he thought it might improve egg production. His fascination does not extend to electronics. The cyberworld is a black hole to him and that includes cell phones and email and Google. But, he trusts motors. Pistons, alternators, belts, gaskets, the stuff of an industrialized America give him confidence and the sense of accomplishing more than a man could hope without help. The gift Tinker gave me is a Black & Decker Alligator. It is a combination chain saw and limb loppers. It is a heck of a tool. I unveiled it today in an early engagement with the Privet. True to its billing, the Alligator went through Privet like a rich Republican at an aged widow’s foreclosure sale; or, a feeling Democrat at a cocktail fundraiser for iceberg-deprived polar bears. Here are a couple of pictures of the Alligator.





It is a dandy. It does exactly as Tinker expected. It makes easier work of Privet eradication. But, therein is the reason that I don’t want to use it often. Making easy work of brush clearing is not an objective for me. More, it is not even desired. These few acres are my gymnasium. It has been years since I have worked as hard as I have since taking up the sword against the Privet. I have not perspired as much or drank as much water – I emphasize, water – since playing football in high school. The result is that I have added a little muscle to my aging frame, rendered some lard off my fat ass, and have the clinical evidence of improved health. I do appreciate Tinker’s gift. I will absolutely use it, especially when he is around. But the gift is in the effort.